I sat in my car the other day, screaming and crying. Why? Simply put, because I am just tired. I begged God to make the pain stop. How much loss can one person take? My marriage, my so called friends, now my job is an issue for no reason other than my principal hates me. […]

So… I am taking a break from talking about my shitty “marriage” and my shitty “friends” to seek a little input…although, I have some updates on both I will share tomorrow. When is the age difference too much to date someone. Long story short, someone is interested in me. I am not sure how I […]

…and it seems to not be getting better. I can’t sleep. My appetite is decreasing, which, on the positive, means I am losing weight. My anxiety is sky high. I am in so much emotional pain and turmoil that I don’t know how to process it anymore. And I literally have no one in my […]

I have always thought when a person made a decision to end their life it was due to extreme depression. I, however, feel very opposite today. My 45th birthday is March 9… that gives me a little over 6 months to decide what I am going to do. But understand this… my thoughts are now […]

I knew better than to get myself wrapped up with you. We were both not 100% emotionally available. Now I find myself in a familiar dark place as I deal with the pain of my marriage, the pain of making the decision to enter another relationship, and now the sudden pain of our relationship ending. […]

It has been a while. And for the most part, it has been because I have been in a really good head space. So I was just living life, and not blogging. Which is a mistake. No more breaks for me. What has happened since I last checked in… well lets see. My best friend […]

I know I know I said I wasn’t going to take this long to blog again. My work has kept me so insanely busy that it has just been difficult. I have made a series of “if I went through with this” videos. I guess you could say like suicide letters. It is not that […]

The thing people do not realize is depression does not have a face. If you met me in real life, you would (now) never guess that every single day I battle the will to stay alive. Every single day I pray for the strength to make it to the next day. Every single day I […]

Do you ever have that friend that secretly acts like they are still in high school? Meaning, they cling to the friend they deem to be “cooler” while abandoning other friendships that aren’t as cool? They follow the cooler friends (aka former best friend) so that if they blow you off then so does the […]

but today I realize I am not. Triggered. H came home today… you know from his two days off with her. He shows up to an event for our D which, as you know, I am her coach. It is akward. No one knows what is going on but it clearly looks like something is […]