I don’t think people understand…

How hard it feels to be so alone in this situation. I’m very alone. I feel like I have no one. And this isn’t a whoa is me pity party, it’s truly how I feel. My husband, well, you know. My “friends,” well, you know. Making new friends is damn near impossible because how am I suppose to do that? I tried the Bumble BFF app and not only did I not make friends per se, because I’m so lonely, sad, and broken I go and start looking at the dating side of it. As my marriage coach reminds me though, that does no one any good. All I’m doing is potentially dragging another person into this mess when o want to save my marriage and therefore, potentially hurting someone else, which isn’t what I want to do.

When all of this first started, I remember God telling me things would start to shift when one of us gets baptized. My daughter gets baptized tomorrow. And it looks like my husband isn’t coming home for that which will break her. I mean I don’t know, I haven’t talked to him since last Sunday.

I really want to make friends. How does a 43 year old woman do this? How do I not feel so lonely?

My coach also told me the average affair lasts 18 months. We aren’t far from that. So will he be the average, below, or above?

Guys, I’m really hurting. I really feel all alone and I’m breaking. This isn’t getting better in my heart even if people see me looking better, it’s a facade. I don’t know what to do. I really need advice and guidance here and not the “put your foot down” in your marriage type of advice because that isn’t real life.

XoXo- Nik

#marriage #family #affair #infidelity #hurt #pain #brokenfamily #heartbreak #reconciliation #restoration #prayer #faith #limerence #lies #deceit #suicidalthoughts

2 thoughts on “I don’t think people understand…

  1. Two things.

    First, I can understand your feelings of loneliness. I feel all alone most of the time and I am constantly surrounded by family and “friends”. I don’t think I can be much help here other than sometimes it can make you stronger and more reliant on yourself.

    Second, stop looking for a friend. Instead look for a hobby, something to do something that will make you feel better about yourself. You may find a friend there because you will share similar interests, but be there for yourself first.

    In this huge mess you are going through the important thing is to get yourself together, make yourself stronger, and heal. If he comes back like you hope, you will need to be stronger than you know to be able to deal with it all.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I actually have hobbies. But I am incredibly lonely and the hobbies are not curing that. I feel like in some ways, I have gotten myself together. I am still struggling and it would help to not feel so lonely.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s